SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

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blogging has somehow been a weekly routine instead of daily or on alternate days. hm. maybe it's just me who choose not to say anything out. or maybe you could say that i have been quieter to a certain extend for the past few days or week. there's just too much to say but too little to express. sounds familiar isn't it.

the past week have been a mugging week. mugged from last sun till friday. how bad can that be. in the end, gave up studying for the last ut though i had notes. was just too tired and my eye hurt. but there's just a vast difference in between studying and not studying. for the past two uts that i studied things were still manageable, but for the last that i din. it was disastrous. so that conclude that i really have to take one step at a time and study hard besides those class times. it goes to prove that jeremy was right.

it has been a few plus since that incident happened. but i jsut can't accept the facts and get things sinknig into my brain. ya. it could have servedas a good motivation. but it is just so difficult to turn it into a source of motivation. ya. there is someone out there who's in a worst off situation. but ya. this thing fell too hard on me. a wake up call indeed. time to get up and start fighting harder, but where do i start?

a working collegue used to tell me this, humans are born to solve problems. and it will just come one after the other. right at this point of time, i cant agree to it more. it's just a matter of getting stronger when it all blow over or just let those problem trip and make u sink deeper. and the choice is in your hands.

my energy is being drained off bit by bit. if i have a choice i will sleep till all these are over. called it avoiding. but i don't really care now. at least or now. at elast sleeping doesn't involve emotions right? sometimes it's also damn tiring to keep pretending.

read something on 8 days. it made lotsa sense. here it "your child leads his/her own life. don't put or expect her to follow whatever you say always." made hell lots of sense right? but snapped back to reality it's a different case altogether.

i can feel the distance. why is this happening for the third time? why am i always getting this at times like that?i don't know how much more i can take it, especially now.

how i wish those things never happened. how i wish that those things that you said months back still count. how i wish that i have never asked that question and how i wish that i never knew the answer. how i wish that things werent that superficial now. how i wish that the train of thoughts would just go away. how i wish i could just press the replay button and cut those unwanted parts away.

9:45 AM;