SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

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did an earlier post just now. but there was something wrong with my internet thus i couldn't publish and recover my post. so i have no choice but to re-type everything again. what an hassle. but nevertheless, i will still blog. haha. sound so contradicting. yep. the first part of my entry will be a piece of song lyrics. a guitar piece some more. sweet. kinda meaningful if you really read between the lines. but if you are lazy and just wanna read the words plainly, den do so. afterall even the words themselves carry a lot of meaning already.

GOO GOO DOLLS
Sympathy

Stranger than your sympathy
And this is my apology
I killed myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out

And I wished for things that I don't need
(All I wanted)
And what I chased won't set me free
(All I wanted)
And I get scared but I'm not crawlin' on my knees

Oh, yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Everything's all wrong, yeah
Where the hell did I think I was?

And stranger than your sympathy
Take these things, so I don't feel
I'm killing myself from the inside out
And now my head's been filled with doubt

We're taught to lead the life you choose
(All I wanted)
You know your love's run out on you
(All I wanted)
And you can't see when all your dreams aren't coming true

Oh, yeah
It's easy to forget, yeah
When you choke on the regrets, yeah
Who the hell did I think I was?

And stranger than your sympathy
And all these thoughts you stole from me
And I'm not sure where I belong
And no where's home and no more wrong

And I was in love with things I tried to make you believe I was
And I wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted
And all the dark and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me

Mmm, yeah
Stranger than your sympathy
Stranger than your sympathy
Mmm hmmm mmm

ok. so now's the second part of this entry. heh. debs just told me that the poly route is a route that you grow up super fast as compared to the jc route. somehow i can't help but agree. cause i have heard of what people do in their second year of jc life. and it's just plain childish. they seriously need to grow up. but i am not pinpointing anyone now. so don't get the wrong idea. but somehow jc route seem more blissful to a certain extend. after all, its just pure mugging at the end of the road. so who cares about ties and relations right?

the previous post that i wanted to publish sounded much sadder and solemn. yep. because of what happened recently. in the end, i chose to not go for the class chalet cause of it too. sorry w36n. i have my reasons ya? but i will try to go for the rest of the days of the chalet if i can. for a moment, the pieces that i have tried to pick up for the past few weeks seemed to have tumble and fall to pieces again. no matter how much i hate to admit, i have to confess that it affected me somehow. even during training. even some of the scolding dosen't seem to take any effect on me. but yes. i do feel guilty for performing rotten skills today. plus half of my confidence was in the drain. those two serves that went over before the rally seemed like it's been gone for good. maybe i should really consider somebody's advice for this aspect. and the receiving was totally thrashy. luckily that incident that's causing everything to occur is beginning to be slightly better. i hope that it will remain that way. feel so pathetic. wanted to buy some liquor to drink just now just to realise that i am freaking broke. so had to choose the wise choice and not buy anything in the end.

also, sometimes when we try to make things a little better. it seem to backfire and cause more trouble. and we will feel more terrible and lousy in the end. but nevermind. that's just part and parcel of life right?

on a lighter note and issue; i was just thinking about the ironies of life after seeing some stuff around me. let's just name a few:
1. actually the strongest people out there are not always the one that emerge first, it's the people who are willing to overcome their obstacles and failures to soar even higher. all these people are the most courageous one. don't you agree?
2. you may seem like you have the whole world to be your friends. but ultimately you still feel the loneliest and saddest when problem arises cause that is when you need a true friend instead of all the superficial ones out there.
3. we may have the ability and skill to do something. but when the real situation arises for us to use this talents, we may just end up making a fool out of ourselves cause we will end up lacking in confidence and faith. so the ending result may just be a huge disappointment and misery.
4. though there maybe better options and choices out there, we are always picking something that brings more misery and pain to us. and this is always happening, even in relationships, don't you agree?
5. we don't appreciate certain things in life till they are gone for good; in plain we are just taking things for granted most of the time till we lose it then we will know it's goodness and importance.
6. sometimes, the harder you fight to earn and gain for something, the more it seems to distance itself from you.
7. sometimes, all you want to do is to lend a helping hand or make things a little better. but it ended up back firing on you. and making you feel more miserable.
well. there're many more irony issues that are yet to be brought up. but on the whole, think about it. if we were to forgo some of the bad-sided ironies, we will be happier people now, agreeable?

9:55 AM;