SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

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sighs. i can't seem to keep track of the things that are happening to me and around me. just like the previous entry got deleted when the explorer window closed by itself. which i don't know why. lately things have been down and out. am i really putting a strong front in front of a lot of people. but it's a definite yes that i am too tired to even think of denesive remarks to protect myself unnecessarily. sometimes i just feel like crying out. but then again not in front of everybodyor all those people. just don't worry and i will be fine ya. i just need to be alone now i guess. or am i wrong again? i don't know.

i have finally made myself give up on you. almose succeeded. but i just have to see you so often. so ya. i still habour a little feelings and hope. it's just so hard to give up when i see you so often and i am trying my best. i wanna know who your nick is refering to. but i don't dare to ask. and i never will have the courage. after what has happened. i don't want it to start all over again. if you really treasure me as a friend at least, you will know what to do. why are you so silent all of a sudden. is there something wrong that i ought to know? i hope that you will have the courage to ask me at least.

after so long. when i thought that everything has died down and i can let go so easily, i realised that i have not done so. and the feeling is mutual. but we can't be together. life is never fair right? some just have to work super hard for the things that they want. i'm always the number 102 in your list; there are always 101 things more important and urgent than me. i'm always the one taking initiative. and always not getting what i want in return. can you take advantage for once and make me feel imporant? is that too much to ask for? will i ever get a wish on my bdae? i don't have too much hope for that either.

we have finally confided in each other. but time factor does not allow us to be close. why must there always be an obstruction in between us? i wanna be there for you. i wanna assure you that everything will be alright. i want you to know that there's still me no matter what happens. i want you to be happy. at least i appreciate you for who you are no matter what happens. sis, you rock my life. =)

should i take you back? but i hate the demanding tone and attitude that you have. and i know it's hard for you to change as this has been an inborn. i'm not obligated to tell you everything. when the conversation's always revolves around you only when i am the one who's suppose to get the comfort.

i saw the vulunerability of the team yesterday. when people almost shout and screamed at each other over the minor stuff. yes, they are trying their best to just keep the ties and bonds close. but they are not being true at certain stages of it. yes, everyone has their temper and attitude, but can't people just give and take at times instead of hurting each other? lucky there are peace makers in the team. or else the team would have been shattered and torn now.

i just want people to be true and nice to me. i don't want the fake masks that much any longer. fake a little and it's ok with me. but i rather see your true selves and accept you just for you guys ya?

mel, must be strong k? no matter what i will be there for you. don't give up on yourself and just hang on tight for i will be at the other end of the rainbow waiting for you. =)

11:25 PM;