SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

title:{}

thanks bro for listening to what i have kept deep within me for so long. i juat have this affinity with the lions in hte universe. haha. what an animal right? i feel much more relieved. calm. and lighter now. really. though i have not found any current solution to my situation.

though more and more people are choosing poly over jc; even those who are able to make it to a gd jc, there are still a discrimination against poly kids. why? just because jc kids get a cert and we don't? look here. we have a diploma after our studies and are able to get a job easily though the starting pay may not be very appealing. and we getto skip a year in the university. i do agree that jc is an easier route to the uni. well. both has its pros and cons. it's just a matter of different routes. so ya. we are on par alrights. if you wanna compare so much. let me tell you. i can make it to the jc too. but i did not. does it make me a very stupid person? well. let me tell you. i learn much more in poly as compared to the three mnths in an institute. real working situations that makes my adaptational skill much better.

i do admit that i envy those movie's love stories. those scenes that made me wish that i was the protagonise in the love story. but i know it is impossible. i just wish that those people in relatioships know and learn how to treasure their other half before it't too late. i sound old don't i? but really. how i wish you can be here to lend me a shoulder to lie on, to talk to, a person whom i can hug during the bad times. yes you understand me well. but you are too caught up in your stuff. but i do feel much luckier than couples who are being separated by parents or maybe 1000 miles? but i can't help feeling what i am feeling right now. and it's eating me up bit by bit. sighs. when will all these be over?

though money is an important necessity in life. too muchof it really kills. i just don't like that issue to be brought up oto much. especially being overly miserable about it, flaunting it, taking advantages of the people around you till it amounts to a large sum of money and acting like as if nothing has happened, or become too materialistic cause of it. yes i may have crumpler bag, i may not have an ipod, i may not have a mercs and a driver to send me to school. i may complain that i don't have this and that at times. but i am happy with what i have now. really. at least i am able to go to school, i have a roof over my head, i have certain things that i want. that's enough. i don't go around begging for stuff that are not meant to be mine. i work for the things that i want. i use my own money. you may call this pride. but i term this behaviour as independence. at least i am proud of my things and will learn how to take good care of them. but i admit that i was once a a brat who keeps on asking for money to get teh things that i want. now i realise that that behavour sucks.

i am on my way to being a spiker if nothing goes wrong! =) i'm gonna work hard and not those who pinned their hopes on me down. i will have the determination. i will work hard. i will make up for the trainings that i have lost. thanks coach for having this faith in me. i will not let you down. =p but vball is never an easy sports. or rather all sports. *lotsa encouragement for my sister too. and those in the ivp!! hope she gets into the school team soon! should i play badminton? but you see badminton and vball doesn't go together... so ya... how? my standard for badminton dropped too. perhaps it'scause of my wrist injury! sighs. i wonder when is it gonna geal. or else i will really have to consult a sinseh soon. sobs.

i've promised to a change when year two begins. more girly. =X haha. believe it or not i have an image consultant now. more open minded towards certain stuff. more matured in handling emotions and obstacles. be more diligent. hardoworking. learn how to curb my temper. be optimistic and have a positive attitude towards life. learn how to let go at appropriate times when necessary. draw a line in between work, play, emotions =) i hope i can attain all these and be a better person. god please help me out ya?

10:29 AM;