SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

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it's been 9 days since i last blogged. so many things have happened. i don't know what more to write for the first paragraph. for the first time. just wanna write everything out in the next few paragraph.if my blog has feelings, i pity it. it has to take so much of my nonsense and problem without exploding. =(

have been emotional and short tempered for the past few days. threw my temper and so on. don't know what's wrong either. just cant seem to take anymore rubbish. but i've tried my best to tolerate sometimes, but i just couldn't take it anymore. sorry for those who actually suffered under my cluthes.

this term's ut grades are really horrendous. maybe the faci marked it too strictly. but everyone is suffering. almost everyone at least. when i thought that i could have performed better for this term. so much for all these hopes. nvm. just pray that my daily grades wil pull everything up. 7 As, and i hope that i will be continuing this trend no matter how much it is. i must not give up.

went to cut my hair today. it seemed so much straighter now. the stylist did magic. 58 dollars for a haircut. nuts. really nuts. but i got it for free. but i have to commend that the service was good; good ambience, service, attitude, location. basically everything about it just rocks alright. if i can maintain the tidiness and straightness, i will probably not die my hair on monday. yups.

you told me not to touch your things without permission, yes you said that. but you are doing it. you took my things without permission and used it without letting me know. how great can this be. is this what you call respect and teahcings? if it is. it's utter rubbish. so what if the money i used to purchase that item originates from you. doesnt matter all right. i saved and bought the things that i want.

have been on a vcd spree recently and spend almost 50 bucks already. from princess diaries to harry potter to parents trap and finally army dze. but guess what i still wanna buy more cds. but i am broke. so i am gonna download from the sch website. free and saves money. unless they don't have the movie that i am looking for.oh yes and i am gonna find a job and earn some solid cash before shopping.. i have so many things that i wish to buy.

yes, i walked away when he was presenting so? i din responded to people who were calling my name. he deserved it. lets not use vulgarities cause he's much worst than that. he deleted about more than 15 slides of effort and ended up being the star of the presentation by repeating his points again and again and ended up teaching physics. great team member. just watched out in the evaluation, rj and normal school day life. for you have pissed quite a numbe of people off already. yes you. don't act blur.

rj's question is something new; we can write anything that we want. don't worry i will flood and spam it with complains and imjustified cases that are waiting for it's verdict. i am not gonna let that person off so easily.

nafisah: though ou act calm; i know that you aren't very happy about it, and just kept quiet about it. don't worry ya. we will get our injustice done.
thomas: don't be mad please. i know that you were real pissed and it's the first time i see you getting so mad. the three of us know how you feel. jsut relax k. we will done what we can to get him down.
yunus: don't be angry also. just ignore his comments in the future cause it's not worth listening too since he doesn't want to listen to us. suits us fine right? since he doesn't give us face why must we do the same. a tit for a tat after all right?

i'm sorry for exploding in front of you guys. the two of you. when one of you guys was trying to be helpful while the other one is already not very happy. i am sorry. i hope that you guys know who you are though i doubts so. i am just not in the right frame of mind and attitue. i promise to curb my temper alright? i'll try my best. thanks to that one that was trying to be helpful. really i mean it. =) your efforts are appreciated. i just hope that there is no ulterior meaning behind all that ya. cause of some stuff. thanks anyway! it was real sweet of you.

things are evolving. i am breathless in this changing world. when can i ever catch up? i just wanna dwell n my own pace of life, that's it.

i'm sorry that i didn't sit down to talk to you when i saw you. even though you called out. maybe that's the retribution for doing what you've done to me. maybe i don't even see a point in talking to you anymore, that's why i have chose to look for others. but don't get me wrong. i am not sorry about it. never. call me unforgiving or anything. but i don't care. neither do i wanna know ok? even if you happen to read this entry. so? you din do it to me only. i'm sure you know what i am driving at.

though my heart is still with vball, my level of determination and perserverance is totally unknown. i don't know whether i can really hold out that long to accomplish my promise and to fulfil my dreams. why must things be so difficult. perhaps i have improved somehow at least a little, but i am demoralised. is it due to the lack of confidence level also? i need to rekindle the burning flame of passion to its maximim potential already. at least i have some support from some people. thanks. =)

why must god play time games with me? can't he see that i am already the biggest fool in this game. when will this be over. when can i be a little happoer again and let my saturated mind think a little lesser. i hope that's not too much to ask for. why must you make me go round two points and never arrive at a conclusion? i thought i have made up my mind a long time ago. but i was wrong. i just can't get that outta my mind and it sucks. when i thought that i could have easily forgotten one, it keeps appearing in front of me. help! i am going outta my mind. i need to breath normally again. i am in desperate need of that.one: time has already proved some stuff, but its just not the right thing to do now, i know the reasons, i have mine too. i wonder when will this be over. it's almost exceeding my limits soon. two: you are one of the reason for one. but too bad. you may not even get to know this. i admitted. but it ended up as a joke. i don't have the guts and courage anymore. though you tried to get close, i have chose to shut the doors. i don't know why either. perhaps i have been waiting for a reply. but i may not even get it. i guess there are a lot of things that we may wanna say. but it ends up getting all buried in the heart. blowing hot and cold at each other. acting like as if nothing has happened. when one of us is nice the other one would snap, and it goes vice versa. will there be a day when i will open the doors to you? will you understand?

great. my knee have been hurting for 6 days already. i am afraid something's bad gonna happen. i still wanna play sports. but i don't wanna go for the stupid check up. but the other day it hurt till i couldnt bend it. and now when it cracks everythime i bend it nad there's this swell somewhere around it! how?? and my right calve hurts. just when my left ankle started to feel a little better. it hurts when i straightens my leg leg. urgh! what a joke. a hilarious one. have been having dry throat that's about to go sore for like a few days also. plus on and off coughing. freak.

why are you giving me those sneaky looks? have i done something wrong? why do you appear to be stunned when i say hi to you? why do your wyws dart when you talk to me, and you refuse to look at me? can i know why? why are you so concerned and even walk over? is there something behind all that?

i feel much better now. i seriously do. thanks blog. love ya. k i'm crazy. dots.

10:25 AM;