school's starting in two days time. i don't know why, but i am feeling vexed today. i think it was due to the lots of thinking before i sleep each night. and i am really tired of it. i am scared that during school days it will be the same, if it's gonna be like this then i am going to have a terrible semester ahead. so many thoughts and situations are running through my mind each day. i think one day my mind will really explode. eeks! think positively and maybe the term that has yet to start will actually take mw away from all this thinking since i am gonna be so tired each day after school and the long trip too.

i begin to wonder what are friendships to some people. many people around me are having problems relating to this. is it true that when people gets older, money, goals and other plans actually becomes more important than friendships and other relationship? how atrocious. is this kinda situation is everywhere, then who are the true friends out there that will stand by you through the rain storms and sun shine? even best friends stab each other hard in the backs, it's scary, a world that is getting scarier as time passes. i think one of my wishes for this life would be to have a few good friends till the moment i die. hope god will answer my prayer if it's not too much to ask for.

i have to admit that i have been trying to avoid a lot of stuff for the past few months espcially when guys tell me certain stuff. unless they are in my class, cause that makes it must to face them and thus many a times i will actually act ignorant and nothing else. i know that attitude kinda sucks, but i have no choice, i don't wanna face anything like that and have no intentions of facing them also. for those outside school, i am sorry for my attitude that suck even more, i practially ignored and avoided as best as i could. i think that's the best for me. and i don't wanna raise any hope for anybody.

why do i always have to associate myself with the word disappointment? everytime when something is gone, another disappoinment will come to me automaticall and i am supposed to act igorant and brave through it right? you disappointed me time and time again no matter how hard i tried to reahc out to you or do anything to improve on anything. i hope that when everything really blows over, i can get a good explanation for everything. at least that's something that i really deserve now. and i hope that the other you can actually know how i feel. and to other other you. please spare a thought for me. i can do the same for you, why cant you just compromise with me for once. just once! i've been asking for certain stuff for months, and during this few months i have never complain at all and you pretend that nothing happens. so i deserve this right? sighs. i'm flabbergasted.

it's a new semester ahead of me. new class. a total change of environment and another group of friends. i hope that things will be ok and i will be able to make the best out of everything, i will be able to hang on to the end of the semester and make more friends instead of enimies or foes. god please bless me with patience and endurance. my resolution for this semester would be to do better than last semester. and a lot better. although i did perform ok, but it was a llittle disappointing. i will work harder to make it happen and make actions speak louder than words this time round. i am gonna plan everything before hand, keep up with my lan and execute the actions required. PD0109 here i come!

as for vball. i will make sure that i try to attend all the trainings so as to improve. i don't wanna deprove. it took me quite some effort and time to get some things right. i am not gonna give up. not when it's becoming part of my life and i am starting to have a passion for it. training harder, seeking for improvements and learning the utmost is my new motto for vball and i am going to keep to it!

i'm beginning to swear off love all over again. after buffing my nose is the layer of dust and sneezing all time round. i have and had enough for the time being. so what if i am gonna be alone during the upcoming valentine? at least i am not tied down and am free to do what i like! i am not consoling myself ok! i'm loving it. being single does mean that i have less restrains for a lot of stuff.=)

oh yes. i saw this toddler boy in church today. he's damn cute and i shook hands with him! oh man. i am so obssessed with him right now! how? he's my sis's friend's baby bro! man. how i wish i can just borrow him backone day to play! haha! but it's just wishful thinking on my part. =((

thinkering column: i like this colour!! haha. i am going nuts over colours. i don't know what to say today. *frowns! adapting to changes is something that is required by all humans. if you fail to change and confrom, you will be left behind by the society. and the only constant thing that is going on is change. nobody can change that fact. so just pray that everything changes for the better as time passes or else it will be terrible!

*i am getting more and more holy already! in this entry i think i have mentioned at least three times of praying and asking god to answer me. =)) getting closer to god and loving him more! oops!!=X

madeline.
03031988.
katongconvent.
republic poly.
volleyball.





WISHES
smiles.
grow taller? HAHA.
laptop.
travelling.
uni.
many many other wants. =)



-andrew goh.
-andrew tan.
-caleb.
-chinglin.
-debbie.
-eeling.
-gary.
-gillian.
-guoyong.
-ivy.
-janis.
-junguang.
-kelly.
-laura.
-lixian.
-matilda.
-mel.
-rena.
-serene.
-shaun.
-shirui.
-shuhui.
-shuhui kc.
-shuzhen.
-sophia.
-soonwei.
-vansoh.
-wilson.
-yichao.
-yikai.
-zhehang.