SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.

Friday, September 09, 2005

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emotional check: sad. horrible. tired. drunk sleepy!

i don't know why but the words seem werid today, kinda slanted. or am i too drunk too differentiate between straight and a slant! went drinking with kok! haha. he paid for my drink. 8.4% concentration. been almost a week since i last drank. was kinda drowsy after that. lucky i manage to reach home safe and sound and my parents don't know a single thing! =)

additional pile of me burden. i may suffer from thalassaemia. which means that my there maybe an abnomamality in my blood. and if my kinds i nthe future were to have it. they may die of still born, or be on long term of blood transfusion, medication and injection if my the other half has it too. but nothing is confrimed yet. i am scared. the doctor already said that my sister maybe the unlucky one. i don't know what to say or who to react. part of me wish that it was me who have the thing, but the other half of me is tellnig that i am the lucky one who have escape from it. yes. who says that i was getting married in the first place. scully it's my sis and i suffering from it. this thing ran on for two generation already. so ya went for blood test before training today. pain! my blood just refused to come out. darn right! i swear the nurse pierced that thing in for at least 3 mintutes.

yes. i think that i am really mad to actually go for training after it. plus my ankle hurts. but oh well. since i wanted to improve on my skills so ya. i just pray that there won't be a blue-black patch on my arm tomorrow. i know i did horrible for today's training. just like any other training. asked vincent for advice. he says that i lack the shou gan and the practice. i am still searching for my shou gan! ah! nevermind i shall take one step at a time i know i can do it and he's gonna help me! thanks vincent. =)

i guess i kinda disappointed that person that brings a smile across my face. sighs. why am i this shy like always. when the oppotunity arises, i just stand over there and do nothing. i feel useless and my ankle hurts. i don't know what has my ankle got to do with it but it hurts. though hints maybe obvious, but i really need a confirmation before doing anything. i just dont want to end up spoiling everything. but then again i don't know how to bring across this message. horrible. just hope that you will not get so upset ya! wanna see you smile more. =)

thanks mel for lending me your ankle guard! you rocks. i guess we don't owe each other anything after all. but stop bullying me. i don't like russell alright!

11:55 AM;