keep thinking and wondering. get thrashed back and down to reality check. i can't take it anymore. i am going bonkers. so much of me just wanna give up. freaking reality. i need to get hold of myself and my emotions. but how to? someone please enlighten me please.

i am not a replacement of anyone. and i don't wanna be one either. don't favour me cause i remind you of someone or somebody. you will be hurting me more in the end. wny is thes happening? why isn't it just me for me. though nothing has and will happen. but can you just take me for me.

am i just here to take all your sorrows and sadness. how about mine? when you have something to be joyous about. am i not one of those that you will share your joy with? you just totally disappeared. i don't want to do any superficial judging. i don't wanna be accused of being judgemental. but all these are just smacking right into my face. am i suppose to act ignorant again? this sucks ya. after all these while have i been deceiving myself? all htose things that you said just a few days back, were they just crap?

back to reality check. why am i feeling that way? someone gave me some advice and comments. is it really that way? i don't know. i don't wanna think that way. but again it's smacked into my face again. RAH! i wanna scream! i wanna run away and do nothing else about all that that has been happening? when will i be spared from all these agony. for those that are involved, are you thinknig what i am thinking too? just that you don't dare and wanna voice it out? i have a feeling that it's so. after all i an read your mind. but i am unsure. i don't wanna cause any destruction to anything. so i guess i shall keep everything to myself again. and shut my trap up to save trouble.

almost everyone around me wears a fake mask everyday. why cant they just treat each other with sincerity. with nothing else in mind? arent they afraid that in the end they will be the only ones left without anyone beside them? so few true people around. if only they can respect and love one another. there will be fewer wars out there. but then again. there's no such thing. money, fame, selfishness, jealousy; all these clouds minds and pollute the innocent thinking. though i may hide my true feelings. but i treat others like how i want them to treat me. but most of the time. it isnt a vcie versa thing. i'm sick of all these ya? real sick.

madeline.
03031988.
katongconvent.
republic poly.
volleyball.





WISHES
smiles.
grow taller? HAHA.
laptop.
travelling.
uni.
many many other wants. =)



-andrew goh.
-andrew tan.
-caleb.
-chinglin.
-debbie.
-eeling.
-gary.
-gillian.
-guoyong.
-ivy.
-janis.
-junguang.
-kelly.
-laura.
-lixian.
-matilda.
-mel.
-rena.
-serene.
-shaun.
-shirui.
-shuhui.
-shuhui kc.
-shuzhen.
-sophia.
-soonwei.
-vansoh.
-wilson.
-yichao.
-yikai.
-zhehang.